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The Loudest Sound

by orkinpod

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1.
The scientists say the earth began as a cold hard rock but I know that it started life as a softly beating heart and in every valley of this hard planet blood flows close your eyes you can hear it singing the same song as the blood that flows in your veins a flower made of wishes cast in wells, cast on stars bright wish burning wish will you take my hand? You don’t need a rocket to get there just cast a net made of stardust and wait patiently for the moon to come to you.
2.
It’s alright you could just write me a letter you don’t have to call or anything at all you don’t even have to ever see me again just let me know you’re fine god gave me water and a place to sleep and food to eat there’s so much god gave me can I really ask for more? can I really ask for you? loneliness is just a ten letter word so why do I feel like a nest without a bird? is it plain to see? because it’s not plain to me.
3.
Apricot Tree 02:30
Above this tree it’s raining hard the thunder cracks will stop your heart but it’s dry here under the apricot tree my baby and me above the rain the clouds are dark they cast long shadows across the park but it’s dry here under the apricot tree just you and me above the clouds the sun is hot there’s never shade no place to sit no trees no grass no lemonade just burning sun and dripping sweat but it’s dry here under the apricot tree my baby and me above the sun is empty space cold and bleak and miserable and if you leave your rocketship you’ll turn into an icicle but it’s dry here under the apricot tree just you and me we don’t need a lot just you and me we don’t even need an apricot tree cause when the world is dark and dreary when our lives have left us weary all I need’s your memory and a single seed to plant a tree.
4.
These days come tumbling like smoke the radiator tells me that a spider web is forming in my throat I close the blinds I lock the door to keep out the things I’m waiting for I use the television like a tape recorder I’m like a ghost never been so alone before bowls of soup and rosy red pomegranates in my bed of flowers turnips guavas and legs your legs these days come tumbling like smoke the radiator tells me that a spider web is forming in my throat.
5.
Soul Pocket 02:21
I don’t have a home but I carry one with me in the pocket just below the one where I keep my wallet and just above the one where I keep my soul. Sometimes I throw loose change in my soul pocket and it rattle’s around in there forever because in that vast space I could never ever find it but I’m careful not to put anything else in my home pocket I don’t wanna scratch the furniture. I keep my left pocket open as a place I might stick my future and any other unresolved issues, and behind it is my second heart underneath some old tissues; I use it for parts when someone breaks the one in my chest when it starts to feel shriveled and smell like old leather if I cant find the silly putty that I haven’t seen in forever I’ll just use some chewing gum to stick my heart back together! Well they’ll put me in the ground wearing this jacket cause for all that I’ve lost and all I’ve collected the pennies that have slipped through the holes in my pockets and the dreams that they've pulled down behind them… Well I’d never dream of cutting apart my pants to find them.
6.
I'm Sorry 03:06
I’m sorry I guess it’s just a dream that I’ve forgotten to have I’m sorry I know that it was funny but I guess I forgot to laugh I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you but of course you’re the one who left I’m sorry but at least I think I know it that you meant it when you wished me the best you saw moonbeams and love songs sunny days in the park I saw them too, please believe me but something’s gone different and I've closed up my heart I woke up this morning and grasped at the dark and a small voice inside me I tried to keep down said I guess it’s just a dream you’ve forgotten to have oh I guess it’s just a dream I’ve forgotten to have I tried to run away But every doorstep led your way led away I tried to run away.
7.
I’m tired of the night coming once a day like clockwork I think I would prefer for the sun to stay a little bit longer but when it’s dark and I’m alone and I’m dancing even though my eyes are closed I’m waiting… Tell me that I’m safe. Weeks go by in days before I awake desire the sunlight on your face and the ceiling fan whispers but when the lights are on in midafternoon the window's open and a breeze blows through my heart jumps as the doorbell rings you’re here you’re safe.
8.
The loudest sound I’ve ever heard was the sound of the snow falling outside your window the moment my lips met yours…
9.
If you wonder why your heart is broken just ask yourself: did you have to turn out the lights? and I didn’t even tell you I could see in the dark maybe because I can’t? and I know it’s true as it was can you imagine what we bury at night? when the sun goes down and nowhere is anywhere without a streetlight all the dust beneath our beds… what are you hiding in the damp? cramped, cracked, dark, and lost... what have you left behind the moon? creeping like a frost... what we bury at night.
10.
There’s a city on your back somewhere just beyond your collarbone with a mosque, and two churches, a synagogue and a market place In the square, I’d sit and wait when I was younger than I am today. And in your hair, there’s a stream where children go on a hot summer’s day the warm sunlight, on your face a sugar pie and a tree for shade. There’s a window in your face somewhere just above your right cheekbone I looked through it, one spring day and what I saw was like the perfect home I’ll do the dishes, you’ll mow the lawn in the kitchen we’ll have linoleum I’ll make a mess cooking dinner and together we’ll scrub the kitchen floor Here we go climb out the window down the steps into the garden I’m a tree and you’re a monkey together we’re a flora and fauna I’m a cricket and you’re a song bird together we’re an orchestra
11.
So 01:02
Babe you have to know I love you so.
12.
Hey Demi I think you’re amazing and I gotta tell you you’re my inspiration you see I don’t feel like an ordinary boy sometimes I don’t feel like a human at all but we all got problems the songs get us through them like love in the morning a star in the evening that gets you through the day that makes everything okay you see the world around us is going insane and although we’re both grownups it’s grownups I blame they pick us up they let us down but Demi we’re free to stand our ground! they can’t stop you from shining they can’t stop me from shining cause the light that’s bright within us will not ever be extinguished and Demi girl, I’d like to see them try! Hey Demi, I know you don’t know me and well let’s be honest, I don’t know you either but music’s the secret to life and to alguhter I’ve heard yours and maybe oneday You’ll hear mine? Hey Demi, I think you’re amazing and I gotta tell you you’re my inspiration so let them say I’ve lost it judge me with their words and with their eyes let them tell me my body is their’s and not mine! Try to control me, well I’ll be just fine cause music’s forever from your soul to mine.
13.
14.
I am dreading the day when the flowers on my toes fade away and are gone because I’m terrified that the friend who painted them there will be gone from my life and I’ll be even more alone than I was when I shattered and she helped me pick up the pieces that scattered in the earth like the bones of the Romans and Greeks. . And so I only shower on odd days and I don’t use soap on my feet! When they write the story of our times they will begin with the day that the past went away and the future that dawned it was all upside down and almost as lost as the present day. In a thousand years archeologists will cut us from the earth and the lives we have lost shall be cleaned and reassembled in a bright room surrounded by red ropes in lines and new hopes shaped from lost time where girls in thick glasses and boys who wear dresses will read a small sign explaining where they found my bones written by a historian who just wants to be left alone with my past instead of his own. I am dreading the day when the flowers on my toes fade away and are gone…
15.
I was on my way home when it started to rain but I don't mind I'm all out of clean clothes and I'm home alone but I don't mind. And if you came to visit I would jump out of my shoes and be so happy you make me happy a little less empty a little more peace of mind. Are you lonesome like I'm lonesome? are you frozen in your feet? everything I want I'm scared of and everything I'm scared of I want. Are you lonesome like I'm lonesome? are you shaking in your shoes? everything I want I'm scared of and everything I'm scared of I want. I need you even more than I did before I need you every night I need you in my life.
16.
Why? 03:14
You’ve got everything you need to be happy as can be but it’s not there it’s not there… you’ve got everything you want there’s nothing lacking in your life to be can’t you see? Why? why do you care about me? wanna be kissing me? oh why? why do you wanna miss me? just stay with me! oh why? are you still mine? are you still mine? I’ve got no place to go no place to be and you’re still going there faster than me don’t you see? here’s the house where we’ll grow old and the history of the world is in these stones and I’m alone… why?
17.
Goodmorning sunshine no need to open your eyes a snow fell last night and the world’s all white and I’m sorry if I woke you it’s just a dream I had I’d like to show you… and when the stars come out a lifetime away from now and moonlight gathers behind your dark eyes will you still love me like I love you? answer only with your eyes… Like an old leaf pressed between the pages of a diary anxiety impresses on life the weight of a story and every little thing getting dressed in the morning exerts an irresistible pull times stretches out and all that you feel fear and love and pain accumulate around the small corners of your life and color them with significance they don’t deserve so that it takes all of your strength to keep your feet on the ground and not to take flight disappear and be gone. I feel scared so I’ll pretend I have a stomach ache with a wave of my wand I’ll make it real I’ll keel over like a sailboat in a castle moat full of alligators and electric eels. I’ll stay in bed because there’s no reason to get up I’m not an airplane I don’t know how to fly I would crash into a cloud bank like a seagull drunk on red wine.
18.
Everything 03:11
A beautiful day will come Everything. Everything.

about

Orkinpod is BJ Lillis. This phonorecording incorporates electric, steel and nylon string acoustic guitars; upright piano; voices; violins; ukulele; 16-string miramacho; harmonicas; audion electric chord organ; pots, pans, glasses; packing-tape drums; jar-of-pennies; laundry basket; maracas and shakers; backgammon pieces; pencils; effects. The most quiet music can be the loudest sound.

credits

released January 1, 2013

all songs written and produced by Orkinpod
Yellow Dress Records - "Tomorrow's Sound Yesterday"
yellowdressrecords@gmail.com
recorded and mixed at In My Bedroom Studios,
Sleepy Hollow, NY, July-Dec. 2012
art, photography, and design by BJ Lillis
orkinpod.bandcamp.com
facebook.com/orkinpod
licensed under Creative Commons
Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike
3.0 United States
all other rights reserved.
anti-piracy warning: unauthorized copying is fun.
YDR101

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orkinpod Sleepy Hollow, New York

Orkinpod is a single, discrete human body engaged in the creation of sounds. Orkinpod has most recently been making intimate experimental folk music, but their past includes electronica, sunshine pop, and rock and roll.

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